Own Terms
by 2211Nighthawk
Summary: From a neutral's point of view, what's the difference between an Autobot and a Decepticon when both have destroyed a planet? When the crimes are being judged, who has the right to judge? And more importantly, 'who' gets judged for their crimes? IDW influenced, Post war era, death/suicide fic Jazz/Prowl
1. Chapter 1

**Ok. I was bored. And i think at the time i was reading the IDW comics again. Anyways, i wrote this a while ago and found it in my rabid plotbunny file and I'm finally posting it. What got me thinking was the obvious lack of friendship between Jazz and Prowl in the IDW comics and how Prowl is a ruthless SOB who wont hesitate to cross moral lines to get stuff done. Also the whole "who's in the right" of a post war era because Autobots could be just as ruthless as Decepticons so where does the line of hero/mass murderer stand. Just got me kinda thinking and well... this happened. Death/suicide fic and NO it does not fit into any of my time lines, this is just an excuse to type so don't think to hard about it.**

* * *

If I thought about it, it was kinda funny.

If I really thought about it, it fragged me off.

I had lived every orn of my life expecting it to be my last. I had made so many enemies, it was proof of my deadly skill that I had survived this long.

Every orn I had expected to have a knife thrown into my back, a sniper's precise shot through the spark, a scalpel carving its way through my frame, or a bullet to the forehelm as I kneeled before a captor.

I had always expected to terminate in the line of duty. Either finally put down by Autobots or torn apart by Decepticons.

I never expected to survive the war.

So when the Enforcers came, it didn't surprise me.

In fact, it had surprised me how long He had waited.

The cuffs were set at their highest setting but I ignored the sharp burning pain in my arms as best as I could while two masked mechs marched me forward. I didn't try to fight them as they marched me toward a metal pole in the middle of the courtyard and turned me around so that my back was to the pole.

The cuff on one of my wrists came free and I hissed at the pain as it was snapped back on, this time on the far side of the pole, effectively locking me to it.

The two mechs backed off and I allowed myself to lean against the cold metal of the pole. A faint smile lifted the corner of my lip plates but it quietly morphed into a smirk. Liplates parted just the tiniest bit to show the gleam of fangs, a faint laugh escaped me. The next chuckle was louder and I dropped my helm, laughing to myself.

"He's mad."

"Absolutely insane."

"About time they dealt with him."

"They said he was a hero."

I was a fraggin idiot.

The first rule, the first _Law_ I had ever learnt I had ignored because I thought I could handle it. I thought I had been in control. What an aft I had been and now it was going to cost me.

Trust nobody but yourself.

Oh I had stuck by that rule. I learnt it after surviving beatings and betrayals from everyone. I had learnt that when my sire tore my sight from me and nearly terminated me. I had learnt that after mechs I thought I could rely on turned around and left me to offline after a deal went wrong. I learnt that after my partner sold me out to the Decepticons.

I had messed up trusting Him but worst still, was that I broke the second Law.

 _Never_ trust an Enforcer.

"-here by charge you with the following War crimes against our planet-"

'You can trust me' He had said. 'We can use mechs like you.'

Oh, he could use me alright. And I let him.

It had been so much better with the Autobots. I made friends, allies, mechs I could trust but never really did. I could rely on them when the time came but at the same time, I was always ready to be betrayed.

I never trusted anyone with my life but myself.

And then the betrayals started happening.

Not to me personally, but to the Autobots. A traitor in our ranks that was spilling far too valuable knowledge to the Decepticons. We were being slaughtered. He knew who it could be but Optimus refused to give the kill order. There was a chance they were innocent.

But we couldn't take the risk. Not with so many lives on the line.

They would disappear sometimes. A transfer that never made it. A lone patrol that got wiped out. A mech murdered in a quiet room, the body gone before anyone even knew he was missing.

We did what we had to too keep the Autobots from losing the war. I knew I could count on Him to provide alibies and to cover my tracks.

But that made me a loose end.

Like I said, it was my fault.

He was as ruthless as I was. I may have terminated the mech, innocent or not, but He gave me the orders.

The data burst sent to the Enforcers had been massive apparently. I didn't know what it all contained exactly but I had a good idea.

Knowing how obsessive He could be, it probably contained everything.

Everything that I had done. Everything that I thought I could trust Him to keep hidden. Everyone knew I was dangerous but it was so easy to hide behind a carefree attitude and a false smile. But with that file open to the public, everyone knew about the monster the Prime had hidden in his basement.

The public labeled me a criminal. A mass murderer. As bad if not worse than the Decepticons.

"Any final requests?"

I turned my helm toward the mech's voice. They had taken my visor in an effort to slow me down but they didn't realise, what He didn't realise, was that I didn't need half the sensors installed in that piece of glass.

I had made it to Praxus with nothing but my hearing. All the extra sensors I'd had installed over a lifetime just filled out the picture I made in my processor.

I knew the mech before me was slim with weak armor. I had already gone over a dozen ways to terminate him in the next five klicks. He was far too smug about this, probably some neutral that was glad to see another dangerous mech put down like the wild beast they thought I had become.

"Actually yeah." I replied, my voice raspy from disuse as I lifted my helm to map out the mech better. "Ah 'ave ah song… aven't heard it in ah long tahm. Ah'd… Ah'd like tah listen tah it one mo' time."

The mech reared back in confusion, glancing to the left and up.

I smirked.

There he was.

They knew His reputation before the War as an Enforcer and they knew His reputation as the Autobot Head of Tactical. It was no surprise when He was given the position in this new world as Iacon's Chief of Enforcers.

My hearing and sensors could only extend so far but now that I knew where He was, I knew I'd be able to track Him down.

"What is it." He asked in a reedy tone as he turned back to face me.

"Ah got it 'ere with meh on ah chip." I said with a one sided shrug. The mech's faceplates twisted into a scowl but I sensed a guard come up beside me. I glanced in his direction, sensors playing over that blank mask to map out his frame.

He had a slight limp. A heavy scar on the top edge of his shoulder guard, most likely from someone taking a downward swing with a heavy weapon. He didn't walk as silently as most Enforcers so he was a civilian hired after the neutrals started returning.

He'd be easy to track down if I wanted to.

I had fought the cuffs as long as they were on to keep my servo in a fist to keep from dropping the small chip. I finally relaxed now and let the chip drop into the guard's servo. He gave it to the thin mech in front of me and I knew he examined it, holding it up before him like he expected it to blow up or something.

Which was smart on his behalf. I'd done it before.

"Very well." He said with a huff, turning away. A moment later another small mech, minibot from the image my sensors were building, ran up and took the chip before disappearing.

A moment later a low beat started that I could only feel in my sensory horns. The beat gradually got louder till I could hear it and with a sigh I relaxed against the post, my helm tipped back as I let the song wash over me. It was the first song I had taught myself to play after losing my sight. Quietly I mouth the words as the lullaby like tune slowly got louder and the beat got heavier. It made my armor buzz as the music surrounded me and I ignored the sound of half a dozen rifles powering up.

A message popped up on an old frequency.

" **I'm sorry it had to end like this."**

"On my mark."

Only two had live ammo but I didn't know which two and I wouldn't until a split nano-klick before the bullets pierced my frame.

"Ready."

The song shifted, stronger now and less like a lullaby.

More like a victory cry.

"Aim."

I grinned as the codding triggered and I was given access to the database.

The dumb aft glitch didn't even check the chip for viruses.

I quickly sent a reply to the message.

" **Not yet you're not."**

I bit down on the detonator wedged between my denta and the tiny amount of explosive blew the cuffs open.

"Fire!"

I hit the ground the same moment the destroyed cuffs did and sensed the first bullet pass my helm by a scratch, the second hitting a few inches higher up.

I rolled forward and bolted, ignoring the surprised yells and shouts as I took off.

I didn't run though. I was sick of running.

All my life I had been running to stay one step ahead of everyone.

Now I was in control.

This was my life and I was done taking orders. I knew I was going to terminate by fraggit it would be on my terms, nobody else's.

I scaled the wall easily, flipping up over the railing and continuing up through the bleachers. I knew where He was and I easily caught up to him.

He spun at the last moment and I slid past Him, my claws just missing those oh so sensitive doorwings.

"Stop running Jazz." He said, doorwings flared slightly as he stood with his peds braced apart, a knife in each servo. "It's over."

"Naw it's not." I replied, flexing my razor sharp claws as my hearing mapped him out. "Ya made ah mistake."

The mech stiffened and I lunged at him. He parred me and I skipped sideways, dodging a knife swing. I kept moving, circling up behind Him and slashed out at Him. He twisted out of the way, ducking a doorwing so it went under my claws and came back up and around.

"Ah trusted ya." I hissed as I sensed guards with rifle, live ones, coming up all around us.

"Looks to me like you're the one that made the mistake." He said with a smirk, holding up a servo to stop the guards. My armor flared as I realised I was surrounded but I didn't take my attention off of the mech before me.

"Naw. Ah cover mah tracks."

"Not well enough _Miester."_

It was the designation I had gone by while in Praxus and when I was a Decepticon. It stung, but I had been hit worse.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ow'd Prime react when ya told 'em mah file was suddenly public." I asked. "Bet Red blew ah fuse."

"He was upset." He replied with a shrug. "But unsurprised by the charges. You should be honored. Red Alert spent the entire cycle trying to figure out who hacked the database."

"Wasn' 'acked." I said bluntly and the mech smirked. "They know ya as guilty as meh?"

"They don't know anything. As far as anyone is concerned, you're the guilty one." He purred and I lunged at him again.

Had this been back in Praxus, before the War when I was still a king on top of my criminal empire, He would have won.

Had it been when I was a Decepticon, I might have.

But as an Autobot, we had taught each other and had both improved even more. Few could last long in a sparring match against either one of us if we put effort into the fight.

But now? Now it was a life and death fight.

I had nothing to lose, and He had everything.

I caught him in a helm lock, his own knife against his throat and braced to slice open fluid lines.

"If Ah'm goin' down, Ya commin' with meh." I hissed into his audio before accessing my own stash of secrets.

The song cut out with a hiss of static before there was a shuffling sound played over the speakers. There was a creak, like someone leaning back in a chair not meant to be tilted.

" _Only 87%? Prowl, ya normally get closer than tha."_

" _Of all the mech's he was the next most likely."_

His voice was the same it always was. Strong, solid, emotionless.

He tensed as I kept a grip on the knife.

" _Tha's wha' ya said bout tha' last three Ah off'ed, An' tah leak's still out there mech. Ah need somethin' bett'a then 86%."_

" _That's all I have Jazz. You'll have to make it work."_

" _Prowl, this is Mirage weh talkin' bout. 'Ee's ah good mech an' if 'ee's innocent weh can't afford tah loose 'em."_

" _And if he betrays us? Yes he's good and that's the problem. He knows far too much about us if he decided to betray the Autobots. Make it work."_

" _Ha. Make it work. 'Ow many ya plan on offin' befo' tah glitch spooks and weh overrun with cons?"_

" _As many as it takes."_

His voice was quieter as he turned away from me.

" _He knows we're looking for him. He's bound to make a mistake and when he does, I'll be ready for him. He won't know what hit him."_

" _Old on. Wha' ya mean as many as it takes. Ya said ya'd narrowed it down tah 'alf ah dozen. Half those mechs are mine! Ah trained 'em mahself!"_

" _Which is why this is so hard. You taught them too well. We have to find the traitor, you know that as well as I do. Prime's not strong enough to give the orders himself. Don't worry. I have everything under control. Trust me."_

" _Don' 'ave much of ah choice anymore do Ah?"_

The audio cut out and I could feel how stiff Prowl was.

"Worried yet?" I asked quietly, keeping the blade tight against his throat.

"You haven't done anything. You're still guilty." Prowl hissed but I could feel him trembling.

He didn't think I'd have anything on him.

They had swept my place and erased everything.

But he didn't think I would have the file on me.

"Ah never denied tha'." I said easily as the rifles charged around me. But the guard's attention had shifted. I could sense the way they eyed Prowl in confusion. The quiet murmurs from the crowd. "But Ah ain't tah only monster. An' ya not gettin' rid o' meh tha' easily."

I still haven't been shot yet. I guess the information flooding all the news stations had caught them off guard.

Prowl may be good at organising data but I was the one that collected it. It may not be as neat of a datapack but it would do the job.

I sent him a file download countdown and I could feel the way he got tenser and tenser as the virus flooded the network.

" **Stop it and I'll spare your life."** He snapped over an old comm frequency. **"Stop it now."**

I grinned at him.

"Ya don' tell meh wah tah do. Not any mo'."

"Shoot him!" He yelled, still not moving against the knife. "If someone gets a shot take it!"

I knew nobody would shoot, most of them were civilians because Prowl made sure no Autobots were in positions of authority for my execution. Didn't want anyone getting in the way of the unavoidable.

"Give up Jazz, you _will_ offline this orn." Prowl ordered and I laughed.

"Ah know." I replied easily and his doorwings twitched in confusion. "But it won' beh on ya terms."

I kicked him away from me hard and before he even had a chance to turn around, a bullet had slammed into my frame.

But not before I tore the knife across my own throat.

I was already falling when the bullet struck me but I didn't feel anything other than the rasp of air escaping where it shouldn't and warm fluid pouring over my chassis.

Prowl's optics went wide in alarm and bared my fangs at him in a grin.

" **Naa… on… yaa… termssss…"** I hissed before everything faded to black.

But not before I heard someone say those sweet, sweet words.

"Prowl of Praxus, you are under arrest for violation of the Autobot Code."

* * *

 **Like i said, just something to write. Hope you like it and if any TMJ fans found this, I'm moving so life is a mess.  
**

 **Read and Review!**

 **2211Nighthawk**


	2. Chapter 2

**So i didn't intend on writing a part 2 to this one, i liked it as a stand alone. That being said, Wolf Girl811 got me thinking and you know what? I like this one too. So just to clarify, this is defiantly IDW influenced and has NOTHING to do with TMJ universe. It was just a fun project to do while i stalled vacuuming the house. So, for Wolf Girl, here's a part 2**

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I was sitting on the railing at the top of one of the towers. One leg hung off the edge, some 20 stories up and the other I had bent and was resting my chin on my kneebolt. It wasn't as sharp as my old armor, in fact, the only sharp part of my frame was my claws.

I had spent an orn and a half filing my digits down into the razor sharp claws that I would never go without again.

It was a small comfort all things considering.

I hadn't seen Prime yet, he was apparently too busy making sure that everyone thought I was offline, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him.

He had a _frag_ lot of explaining to do.

The worst part was that I couldn't even yell at him. Not with my vocal processor slashed clean in half.

I didn't know if I should be mad at Ratchet or impressed. I was a trained killer. When I terminated a mech, they stayed offline.

And yet that fragger had managed to revive me despite me taking a knife to my own vital lines. And being shot point blank in the spark.

The door slid open but I already knew who it was before he'd even stepped out onto the balcony. A weak hiss, all I could manage with the mass of scar metal across my throat, escaped me and my armor flared.

"I'm sorry it took so long to talk to you." Optimus Prime said softly as he walked across to where I was sitting on the railing.

" **Ya got ah lot of explain' tah do."** I growled over the short range comms. Prime flinched hard, stopping half way across the roof.

"I don't know what to tell you." Prime continued after a moment. "None of this was supposed to happen."

" **Ya expect meh tah belive that."** I demanded, turning to glare at him, fangs bared. **"Ya got ah lot o' nerve Prime!"**

"What are you talking about."

I continued watching the Prime before glancing away again.

He didn't know.

Prowl had at least left the Prime out of this.

" **Did Red know 'bout this?"** I asked.

"About Prowl releasing your file? Yes. He knew within klicks of it hitting the network that it had been Prowl, and not a leak but by then it was too late. I had no choice. The public, and Prowl, branded you a criminal. I could not stop it without the city revolting. The Decepticons made sure of it. As you can image, they wanted you offline just as badly as the neutrals." He explained. "I know you have no care for politics, but it's far more complicated then one would expect. From those returning, we're all criminals, just some are worse than others and what badge they wear makes no difference to them."

" **Ya shouldn't have intervened."** I said after a moment. **"Ya should have let meh terminate. If everyone wants meh offline so badly ya should 'ave let it 'appen. Ratchet's tah only one tha' could 'ave saved meh."**

"And even he was almost too late. I always knew you were good Jazz but Ratchet almost lost you."

" **Ee's ah pit of ah medic."** I admitted, dropping my leg over the railing and pulling the other up. The motion made me flinch as the welds acorss my chassis pulled. A warning flashed across my HUD, warning me that my sparkchamber was still repairing.

"Primus, must you sit on the railing like that?" Prime asked and I glanced back at him with a grin. The mech wasn't looking at me and his armor was flared.

I loved heights, maybe because I couldn't actually see how high I was. I loved the wind on my plating, hearing how the sounds blended from this high up.

But I was also aware that mechs not designed to be air born preferred having all their tires on the ground. And then when I was prancing around the ledges of skyscrapers and the railings of overpasses, it made some physical sick to watch me.

Moving slowly I turned around, then slid off the railing, holding it tighter afterwards then I realized. It had only been a few cycles since I had onlined and spark chambers take a long time to heal.

"Are you alright?" Prime asked, walking over to me.

" **Been better."** I relied honestly, servo pressed against my chassis. Prime continued watching me for a klick before sighing, walking forward and leaning against the railing. **"So 'ow'd ya pull it off."**

"Despite a crowd wanting to see you _shot_ , they had problems with said mech leaking out on the bleachers. As soon as you collapsed they hauled you back underground. Ratchet was waiting for you to make sure that you'd stabilised yourself before stuffing enough mesh into your throat to make sure you didn't offline for real." Prime explained. "Thankfully, nobody even thought of the fact that being special ops, you'd have so many overrides. That false spark reading is what saved your life again."

He subspaced a datapad before handing it to me. I'd seem them before but it still made my spark jump every time I saw them.

It was worse when the termination certificate had _my_ designation on it.

Jazz of Polyhex, former Head of Special Operations was terminated via self-inflected wounds and a gunshot to the spark chamber. Verified by Ratchet of Iacon, Chief Medical Officer.

" **So wha's mah designation now."** I asked, glancing over at the much bigger mech.

Prime shrugged, glancing at me.

"I guess whatever you want." He said, glancing back out over Iacon. "Jazz is offline right? Red Alert, Ratchet, and myself are the only ones that know you're still functional. Prowl…"

He trailed off before shaking his helm.

"Prowl's too smart, so he very well might think you're still functional but as far as everyone else is concerned, you terminated that orn. They had the frame to prove it after all."

I nodded, glancing away. I'd been wondering what had happened to my armor.

" **MTO frame?"** I asked.

"Yes. Red managed to find out that would fit your frame. It's still your frame, but the new armor. Your old armor is on the Made To Order frame. Ratchet even replicated your wounds."

" **Tha's ah little scary."** I muttered. **"Wha's gonna 'appen tah-"**

I couldn't even say His designation, it just made me want to purge.

"Prowl had no right to release your file and in doing so, it was a major breach not only to our security, but to any trust I had in him. He betrayed me, both of us, and what happened to you was not by my choice, nor could I stop it. I was under far too much pressure from the public to be able to help you my trusted friend, but now that the tables are turned I see no reason to extend him the same courtesy he denied you."

I didn't respond but I had not ignored what the Prime had called me.

A trusted friend.

How all of this got started. Prowl had called me a trusted friend, I had considered _him_ a trusted friend. I broke the first Law and suffered for it. And even now, my life was still not my own. I owed it to another, again, and he still had the power to make me do what ever he wanted. Prowl's little breach of security was proof that it did not take much to put me in the spotlight.

" **Wha' do ya wan' meh tah do."** I asked with a low growl. **"Ya saved meh for a reason. Ya still need mah skills or ya would 'ave let meh finally terminate by mah own decision."**

"I still need you."

" **Ya need mah skills."** I repeated only for the Prime to shake his helm.

"No, I need _you._ I trust you Jazz. we may have won the War but we are in no way at peace yet. Decepticons are still causing problems every chance they get and the neutrals are yelling for our energon. I need someone that I can rely on, someone I can talk to. As for your identity, you have the opportunity very few of us will ever have and that is to start over with a clean slate. Nobody knows who you are or what you've done, but I hope that when I need someone I can trust…" He trailed off again. "I still trust you Jazz. I've never doubted you, I hope you know that."

" **Trustin' meh is a dangerous move. Ya of all mechs should know tha."** I said bluntly.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." Prime replied just as bluntly.

I didn't say anything, too many thought running through my processor.

I could start over.

I didn't have to worry about the pit-spawn that sired me, or the gangs of Praxus, or the War. I could do whatever I wanted with a freedom I'd never know. For once in my life, nobody wanted my spark on a silver platter. For once in my life, I was finally free.

It came at a horrible cost. Blaster, Bluestreak, Hound, the other allies I had. They would never know that I still functioned, but under different plating and a different designation. What was sadder was that I knew I would move on. I could walk among them and act like I never knew them. It was far too easy to just hide behind masks again, this was just one more to add to the pile.

"'m serious. You can do whatever you want. The mech I know as Jazz was terminated, but I hope that after you decide who you want to be, we can still remain friends." Prime continued, still watching me far too closely.

" **Ah hope we can too."** I found myself saying and the Prime visibly relaxed.

"That's good to hear." He said, nodding. Abruptly he flinched hard, servo going to his audio. "Ratchet's looking for you. He's fragged that you shut off your comm."

" **Havin' an important talk 'ere."** I replied with a shrug. **"Sides, 'ee was all over meh with ah scanner just two joors ago. Ah ain't gonna collapse."**

"You try telling him that yourself." Prime replied with a smirk. "I hope to see you again, and this time with your own voice."

I gave the Prime a relaxed salute before heading back toward the main building and the private lift that would take me back below ground to where Ratchet had smuggled me.

"I have to ask you one thing though before you leave." Prime said quietly and I paused. I knew exactly what he wanted to know. "That recording. It was when Red was nearly assassinated and Megatron took Iacon wasn't it."

It had been a horrible time in Special Ops, knowing that there was a breach in your own mechs but not knowing for sure who it was. I'd spent far too much time in the washracks, washing another mech's energon from my frame.

" **Ya."**

"How many did you terminate under Prowl's orders." Prime asked, turning around to lean backwards against the railing and facing me. "Between you and I, how many terminated before you caught the real traitor."

I couldn't face him.

" **Eighteen."** I finally said. **"Six of 'em were mah mechs."**

"And Mirage?" Prime pressed.

" **Terminated 'emself. 'Ee knew everyone thought 'ee was tah traitor. Cliff made sure oh' tah before Ah took 'em off Prowl's 'it list. 'Ee was numb'a eleven on tah list."**

I trailed off before hissing air painfully from my vents.

" **Ah did track 'em down but 'ee already had ah gun. Said 'ee didn't want meh tah 'ave 'is energon on mah servos. 'Ee knew Ah was just followin' orders."**

Again.

And again.

Just following orders.

That's all I ever did.

" **Ee shot 'emself, and weh took tah opportunity tah stage it like it 'ad been Raj all along. Linedrive got too excited, messed up, an' Ah'd off'ed him within 48 joors o' Mirage off'in' 'imself. 'Ee…. 'Ee was eighteen. Even if Ah didn't off' Mirage mahself, his termination is still on mah helm."**

Prime didn't say anything and I couldn't turn to face him.

"Thank you for telling me that." He said after a moment and I turned to him, not expecting that response. He was already facing away from me, back out over Iacon.

"Get better soon Jazz." He said and I couldn't help but smile. A real one for once.

" **Call meh Remix**. **"** I replied before spinning around and back towards the lifts.

I'd never intended to turn out the way I was.

I guess nobody ever does.

Polyhex had chewed me up and spat me out, and then Praxus tried to terminate what was left with it's gangs.

It was survival of the fittest and I learnt that the hard way.

Trust nobody but yourself.

But there was a small part of me that had never been crushed or warped and that was my love of music. It had been what drew me to Praxus in the first place, even if I never made it.

But there was a mech with a stall full of old instruments set up a few blocks away and there was a guitar in there with my designation on it.

My new designation to go with my new life.

And you can be pit fraggin' sure I'm gonna live it on my _own_ terms.

* * *

 **And THAT is definitely the end, though who knows, someone might get me going off on another rabbit trail. And never fear TMJ fans, I'm still working on it. How many times have you heard THAT one before...  
**


End file.
